‘Tis the season…to pause

If I see another Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide or ad for the perfect holiday dress, I’m going to scream.

Well, I won’t scream, but I’ll squirm.

I’m not here to tell you I’m some enlightened individual who doesn’t care about material possessions, yada yada. My credit card debt and unnecessarily robust closet would prove that’s not true.

I’m also not here to try and make you feel guilty for thinking about what you want for Christmas or how much you’ve spent on Amazon Prime. You do you. You get joy out of finding the *perfect* thing for your mom or sibling or significant other, and that’s amazing.

And there might be things you’ve had your heart set on that others will take delight in gifting you. Also amazing.

Like I said, your girl loves spending money. Again, those credit cards don’t lie.

But…do you ever get caught up in the ceaseless December cycle? Of holiday gifts, the plans and parties, the checking off of holiday movies, the wrapping up of work projects and year-end budgets, the setting of New Years resolutions and getting ducks in a row to make sure January 1 starts with a bang…the dizziness that comes from just LOOKING at this list?

I definitely get stuck in this cycle. And even when I’m aware of it, I still get caught up. Case and point, I began writing this post several days ago. And during the past couple of days, my mind has been spinning non-stop about what I want to get done in these last few weeks, what activities will fill the days when family is in town, what I should be focusing on in 2020, all of the dizzying things.

Don’t get me wrong. Wrapping things up (gifts and projects) and planning for the New Year are worthwhile efforts. It’s the getting-caught-in-the-cycle that brings on the danger.

I’ve been scrambling internally for days about what big changes I “should” be making in 2020 and what type of work and life I want to pursue. The wheels have been spinning non-stop, and a lot of the energy I’ve allocated towards trying to forcing the answers feels as though it was spent in vain.

So this morning, I promised myself, like physically wrote in my journal, that it’s time to rest.

To take a breath and sit with myself. To take in all that’s happened in 2019, the good, bad, and neutral, and take stock of how I’m feeling about it all. To check in with myself and see what it is I need. Not the façade of a particular job, or a certain milestone, but get to the bottom of what my soul is really craving.

Keep you posted?

And if you decide to cancel your plans for the day, grab a cup of coffee, maybe bake some cookies, and sit with yourself for the afternoon, you know I’d love to hear all about it.

Let’s talk about all the feels.